AxelRachelBank

Is guy at next computer SERIOUS about this gum-chewing? Now I am lady who gets out and puts on headphones so pointedly that she breaks them.

— RachelLieffAxelbank (@axelrachelbank) May 12, 2010

Underwhelming: getting really excited about a new email, then seeing that it’s the recipe for bean pie that you just emailed to yourself.

— RachelLieffAxelbank (@axelrachelbank) May 10, 2010

Literalism: my bedroom is a hot mess.

— RachelLieffAxelbank (@axelrachelbank) May 4, 2010

Thanks for telling me I had green pen on my face, none of you several people I saw at Dunkin’ and Starbucks in the last five hours.

— RachelLieffAxelbank (@axelrachelbank) May 4, 2010

A nice surprise is looking for your mobile real fork, giving up, eating with plastic, and finding the real one packed INSIDE your salad.

— RachelLieffAxelbank (@axelrachelbank) April 29, 2010

YEAH: when a salad’s components are all specifically versatile so the whole thing can go in the micro and suddenly, you’re having casserole.

— RachelLieffAxelbank (@axelrachelbank) April 22, 2010

Vegetarians who’ve always wanted to carve a turkey: a parallel experience is carving a partially frozen cabbage in a pot of boiling water.

— RachelLieffAxelbank (@axelrachelbank) April 1, 2010

Yesterday, I totally thought that my N.Y. Times News Alert read “U.S. Defense Contractors Tied to Effort to Track and Kill Mutants.”

— RachelLieffAxelbank (@axelrachelbank) March 15, 2010

I’m really excited about my new deodorant. Is that lame? It has guaranteed odor protection.

— RachelLieffAxelbank (@axelrachelbank) March 8, 2010