I’m presently hanging out at the Yale School of Management, of which I am not a student but where I’ve come to do some of my homework because I
a) am in New Haven and need a place to get my homework on and,
b) frankly, cannot abide one more interaction in which I step up to the counter, say to some hipster barista, “hi! How are you?” and have them look back at me, doing and saying nothing until I laugh uncomfortably and ask them what kind of soymilk they use and may I have a latte and charge it, please, and,
c) franklier, I am thoroughly, profoundly sick of homeworking my own ass all over the Yale School of Medicine.
Anyway.
I’m now in this study room that’s lined with little individual computer station/carrell thingies, and it’s very quiet and – fittingly – very businesslike and there is NO EATING OR DRINKING (saith the sign by the door, which I have no plans to mess with), and I am trying hard to not type too loudly or look like I associate too frequently with hipster baristas (no matter what my side of the interaction may be like), lest I attract the unfavorable attentions of the four very businesslike dudes* who are also camped out in here.
Now, though, I’m worried that maybe I have already done that, in case there was some memo about which study rooms are for boys only that was circulated widely but that I, being of the non-student variety, never got.
Also, it’s very warm in here, too much so, so I’ve taken off my sneaks, and my bare toes just discovered under my adopted desk an abandoned but quite plump raisin, and now I’m wondering if this is maybe some leftover evidence of whatever gruesome incident made them implement the policy on that sign. I’m also wondering if this means I can eat my yogurt.
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*Seriously. How else would you describe madras shorts, a North Face bookbag, and a very, very serious engrossment in spreadsheets?
Regarding your asterisk note, I believe the word is douche.